My brown boots and black leather coat are zipped. Sunglasses are on, and helmet is strapped and snapped. The deep rumble of his motorcycle echos in the neighborhood and invisible exhaust fills the air and my nose. It is time for a ride.
The distance between Jeff’s back and my chest is nearly a foot, so my choices in holding on are either to lean completely forward and wrap my arms around him, or to lean back on my seat back and pressure my knees around his waist. Holding on to his waist with my hands is pointless, he’s too far away. We take off and at first I choose to put pressure on with my knees. The freeway was tight with rush hour traffic making it difficult to open up the throttle and really ride.
Soon enough though we hit the turnoff for Red Rock Canyon. The sun falls behind the shadowed peaks with just a yellow glow behind them. All at once I realize how I haven’t been holding on with my knees. I have let go. I’ve been so enveloped in the majestic views. The feel of the cool wind on my body and blasts of cold air pockets seep through my jacket. Somewhere in the midst of the ride, my shoulders dropped, my knees loosened, and freedom, surrender have taken over. I can almost fall asleep in this relaxed state.
We wind around through the scenic drive loop of the canyon, stopping at the lookout point. The eastern sky is painted with pink and purple hues. Our stomachs rumble along with the motorcycle as we hit the road again toward dinner somewhere.
Why is it that I can be so relaxed on the back of this motorcycle, where danger is really at my every side? One wrong move of another driver and I could be done. Yet I don’t bat an eye. As I watch the road move beneath my feet at nearly eighty miles per hour, while not really holding on, I’m at peace with where I am and with all the risk and possibilities. I trust my driver.
Why is it that I can’t seem to trust God that much? Why can’t I let go with God THAT much? Doesn’t He want me to be able to sit right with Him as He drives me through this life, with all it’s risks and scary possibilities, and be at peace? YES! Yes He does want that for me. He does want me to let go enough to trust that whatever I’m going through now or may face in the future I can be at perfect peace. But most times, I just don’t. At least not with the areas that matter most. Some places in my life it is natural to trust God and I don’t bat an eye. But it is not yet complete trust because it is not in every area of my life.
Trust has always been in the “doing” for me. I’m always trying to fix the situation and trust that God will work in my fixing. Aha! I am not doing the driving of this motorcycle, I’m just riding and resting; Yes I need to make subtle adjustments to when and how I might lean or hold on at times, but for the most part a ride on the back is not in my doing but in my resting, and trusting…it is peaceful, so it should be with my life. I’m not the driver of this life, yet I act like I am all too often.